April 2009
8 posts
A $130,000 cup of soup [probably funnier if you...
My Mother: We really should get rid of this couch, it's falling apart.
Me: NO!! We can't get rid of this couch!! This couch is my childhood! I was conceived on this couch! I was born on this couch!
My Mother: You are insane. You were not.
Me: I was in spirit.
My Mother: We had a different couch when you were born.
Me: Yeah, but. In spirit. I was, you know, put together. On this couch.
My Mother: You were conceived in a petri dish.
Me: I was made in a cup!! Like soup!!! I'm not real!
My Mother: [sigh]
Their glassy dead eyes follow you forever
I worry about people my age who own a lot of Pixar movies. [A lot = More than 2.]
township:
A crazy man from my apartment named Frank bitched out Daniel for parking in the virtually empty lot behind our building. Lesson learned: never trust Franks.
I know a Frank like this. He lives across the street from my Grandmother’s house. No matter where we park, he waddles out of his house to yell at us and demand we right the atrocity!!! as he sees fit. And he’s a mouth...
[This conversation happened a year ago but I...
J: That doesn't sound pleasant
P: I'm just being honest.
P: Whenever anyone brings it up, ANYONE, I just tune them out. Like, start to finish, I can't make myself listen to it.
P: Soooo... whatever.
P: whatever that makes me.
J: It sort of makes you a sociopath
P: Well fuck.
J: Well it does
P: Man! Harsh! You could have at least been like, Phoebe you just haven't met the right person yet.
J: Phoebe you won't meet the right person if you are a sociopath
P: hahah, So basically, get on that?
J: Yeah
J: Work that shit out
“Hamlet wonders if he should continue to exist. Or not.
Hamlet thinks Ophelia...”
– Hamlet (Facebook News Feed Edition) @ McSweeny’s. 